hummmm give me a minute and I will think of something clever to say!

I always say…

heres the thing… this was supposed to be the place for me to write some of the feelings that I didnt want to write over at horoscopes… its not working for me.  Too much crossover traffic.  So I am off to begin anew at an undisclosed location.  For now, you can find me at www.someoneelseshoroscope.blogspot.com !  Be there or be square or… not lol.  cheers!

oh but today on blogger was colorful…

new header… although the gal who is trying to redo it for me for free is about ready to bop me one cuz I am so particular!  I am particular and artistic… but not at all technically savy here in blogland.

So blogger was colorful, but life was not.  It was a tough day today for me.  I had several weak moments…  moments when although I appeared ok on the outside, I was struggling on the inside.  Nobody knew.

Ever feel like no one around knows you?  That was kind of it.  No one knew that the life was sucked out of me today.  No one knew that I was here but really miles away.  Blast the music and drive with the top down so you can feel… feel everything around you swoosh by.

I’ll be ok.  I just wonder if I will ever be content….

Profound to think that its all really a choice!

My Moto today….

Its Friday… Be Happy!

(btw where are the options for colored text???)

easy come easy go.  the words came quickly without much thought and as I reread them they seemed to harsh and not real to me any longer.  So I deleted them.  I think thats a step in the right direction!

Have a great day

It struck me today… as I stood in line at Tijuana Flats waiting for my salad… that I have been taking EVERYTHING to heart these days.  Instead of living in the moment and forgetting about what may or may not be, I have been over analyzing life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

 Done. 

I am driving myself freaking nuts… not to mention all the other people I am affecting. I sometimes wish I was a guy.   I could just move past things and not dwell as much.  Hormones… ya I will blame it on hormones! lol   I posted on my other site today about reflections… I added a photo … the photo here.

It got some interesting comments from the male visitors… as you can imagine! lol  Perhaps I have a bit of male part envy too!  No crude comments please… =]

Seems I lied.

I have needed way more than a minute to think of something clever to say here.  sorry.  In truth, this is my sort of secret site.  Not that it is secret as I posted my horoscope blog site here so there could be cross reference… but I dont have  any readers here lol.  Soooo

 ***

 I was restless last night.  The dreams kept coming and they were all a bit disturbing.  I hope I didnt scream out.  I hope I didnt wake my spouse. 

I can remember 3 of the dreams.  2 were actually connected.  I was searching … wandering through a town… in and out of buildings… searching.  At one point I was searching in my PJ’s(in the dream it was a white cotton mens long sleeved oxford and a pair of hot pink undied  … go figure! lol I DONT sleep in that normally!!!!!)… carrying a huge sleeping pillow and a bottle of vitamins still  in their original box from when I bought them.   (I did just buy a set of Boots detox and immune system vitamins so I am sure that is where that came from!)

 I was looking for a person.  In a bar in a foreign country.  I happened onto several people I knew from the US.  Most were ‘old’ friends.  No one I keep in touch with now.   They were cordial but not friendly.  I didnt stop to chat with but one of them.  Eventually I head out to find my family… having not found whatever I was searching for… It had rained and the ground was wet.  Puddles everywhere so I had to take off my shoes.  It was warm though so I was thinking that I could pass off my attire as beach wear and not look like a spectacle… even though I was topless and only covered by a pillow!  I ran into my spouse and daughter about a block away.  (I think we were staying in a dormitory with someone… at least that is the feeling I got… and that person was not around nor could we get into the room) Then my youngest son came in as well and we all headed through the wet and flooded streets together.  I woke up feeling helpless.  Having lost my pillow and my vitamins were just about to burst through the bottle and all be ruined…

Anyone got an explanation for that one???  One thought I just had was that I was/am feeling lost even though I am surrounded by masses of people… even people I know… I am still lost in my own world….  I need to get a book on interpreting dreams!!

I love my new look here… I found it after posting about love and lust and happiness over at my other site http://someoneelseshoroscope.blogspot.com/  I didnt really touch on the notion there… that The Grass is Always Greener… but that was the underlying thought I had the entire time I was writing… that when you are single you want to be married… when you have marriage you want lust… when you have love….

There is that short period… I say give or take 5 years… that I think is the Bliss time.  Its when all the stars aline, you still have that lust feeling… cant get enough of each other… cant get close enough or touch enough or get enough sex no matter what when or where. 

So what happens?  Marriage?  Is that the root of all evil?  I dont think so really… Is it complacency?  I think I am getting closer for sure.  I wonder if its that people get ‘comfortable’ and stop trying and working at keeping it all fresh… that people grow in different directions and if we arent careful we end up in different spots. 

 Idk.  I do know that I need to work harder.  I need to be making efforts that I havent made to keep things fresh too… I need to fertilize the grass on this side so as to make it as green as that there on the other side. 

 There should be a song about this… doncha think?

BTW Where the hell is the font size regulator here on wordpress?  grrrrrrrrr

Hey… the only reason I even have a wordpress acct is to have access to Scaramouche Jones’s… but, alas he seems to be no more.  If you do stop by sj drop me a line and let me know how the move went…. how acclimation is going and where your next stop will be. Cheers

ok so this is my second official post… I actually just came to see if I still had a site here and surprise surprise… I do!